As a young girl I loved playing with Barbies and playing house with my friends and cousins. When we would play house, I was married and had children. I grew up thinking I was going to marry and have children. I remember when I turned twenty five I had a panicked moment, I wasn't married and I didn't have children. Fortunately that is the only time I have panicked. I even had it as a non-negotiable in my past relationship, must want children.
Meanwhile in the back on my head I knew I did not want children. It wasn't until a year ago when I had my coming out of the closet moment with my sister. I was at her salon and we were on the subject, she finally directly asked me, "You don't want to have kids, do you?", with much relief my response was no. It was finally out to the universe, I felt freedom admitting it. Then she said, "I knew it!" I'm not sure if my sister realizes what a big moment that was for me. She gave me permission to come out with it, I felt like I was carrying around this deep dark secret and people would not accept me if I did not want to have children, and most of all disappoint my parents.
I have had several people ask me "don't you want to get married and have children?" and even someone telling me, "you should just have artificial insemination, your parents will help you out, you would make a great mother." Side note my parents probably lol'd after reading that. Often times I get asked by my patient's parents, "do you have children?" and when I respond I do not, they are usually surprised. Even though I do not have children of my own doesn't make me feel less of a woman, I still am maternal by being an aunt, caring for children and my pups. Another side note, I am well aware my pups are not children, it's looked down upon when you kennel children up so you can socialize, get drunk in front of them, or use foul language and call them vulgar things when they pee and poop on the floor. Needless to say I love and adore them deeply.
The reasons I have chosen not to have children are my own. I am already feel complete, finding a gentleman to share my life with would complement it. Jennifer Aniston said it beautifully, "We are complete with or without a mate, with or without a child. We get to decide for ourselves what is beautiful when it comes to our bodies."
Photo Credit: Sparrow & Bean
